Prepare Thyself for the Coming Apocalypse

Whether it be zombies, nuclear war, mass terrorist acts, or the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, we all know it's gonna be soon. So you'd better be prepared. And that means you'll need:

• A flashlight.
  
• Duct-tape.
  
• A battery-powered radio.
  
• A reliable and capable vehicle to get you out of the city, a place to stay far from any major city, and an escape route to get you there (with backup routes).
  
• Your pocket-knife. (Or as I like to refer to it; your "people-who-get-in-my-freakin'-way"-knife. It just so happens your pocket is where you keep it.)
  
• Your wits about you.
  
• Your pet fish (in a fish-bowl, not a bag, since the apocalypse may last more than half an hour), and maybe some fish-food.
  
• Your iPod, along with suitable post-apocalyptic music.
  
• Your pajamas. --Oh, and swim-suit in case you get a chance to hit the beach.
  
• Some ultra-tasty Zonkers Flooba-Loo (TM), now available in NEW Raisin-Parsnip. Mmmm!!
  
• The keys to your helicopter and secret underground bunker.
  
• Your Tarzan-yell. It'll come in handy. Trust me.
  
• Mr. Wuggles your teddy-scorpion. He was always there for you.
  
• The compromising photographs of you and you-know-who. You won't need 'em of course, but if things blow over quickly and they fall into the wrong hands due to looters... Whoo-boy...
  
• Your HandyCam, but if you film your remaining time on earth, be sure to shake and jiggle the camera a lot.
  
• The Sears flier, in case you get the urge to do a little shopping on your way through the rubble.
  
• Your Cyberdyne Systems Series 800 Model 101 Terminator, who has to do whatever you say and likes to steal people's clothes. *Ahem*, unless the apocalypse is due to the Terminators themselves, in which case, never mind.
  

And just to keep you as efficient as possible, here's some things you were thinking of bringing that you can leave behind:

• A change of underwear. You probably won't live long enough to need it.
  
• Family members who walk slower than you or are older than you. Or younger.
  
• The keys to your other helicopter (just take the good one and leave the other).
  
• The list of things to bring, since it'll just remind you of something you forgot. And no, you don't want to go back and get it.
  
• Remorse.
  

Humans Are Neat Animals

Yesterday there was a solar tsunami (article and video). It was captured by a "twin Stereo spacecraft designed to make 3D images of our parent star".

Humans are kinda neat. You don't see other animals doing this kind of stuff. Walruses, for example, haven't decided to photograph the sun in 3D yet. And if they did, well then, as Kevin put it, "we'd have competition". In turn, if we had walrusy competition, we'd kill all the walruses. Cuz that's what we do. (We're not always "neat".)