Darylnadia

Sometimes I get tired of governments. They're too slow, they tax the hell out of you, they don't serve justice most of the time, they're too concerned with elections and they're very self-interested in general. Many times as a child I thought to myself, "Man, I'm just going to go and make my own country."

Enter the independent state of Darylnadia. Darylnadia is a great place to live; it has its own set of laws, own leader, own flag and national anthem (yes, it's even called "The National Anthem"). Darylnadia's land extends for a radius of about 1 meter around Daryl --er, me. It does have its own fixed land... somewhere. Can't remember where I put it exactly. But basically, when I'm in Canada the state of Darylnadia follows me around. Wherever I am there's a two-meter circular island of embassy land for Darylnadia, within which the laws of Darylnadia apply and not those of Canada.

You can imagine how being Darylnadian (or basically, "being Daryl") could lend itself to trouble. For example, if I steal something I'd have to be tried by a jury of my peers under a judge in the courts of Darylnadia, not Canada. If that judge and jury actually let me off, well... I'd be a free man, and what would stop me from repeat-offending? Lucky for me that all the inhabitants of Darylnadia are decent, responsible and law-abiding citizens.

Stealing happens to be illegal in both Canada and Darylnadia, but not all the laws are the same. In most cases the laws of Darylnadia are much harsher than those of Canada. For example, did you know that in Darylnadia the fine for smoking (at all, anywhere) is $20,000? And that's not a maximum fine either, it's a minimum. Also, the punishment for abusing an animal is execution. Same for abusing children, actually. There are only a few things that are not illegal in Darylnadia but are illegal in Canada. I can't list them all of the top of my head, but for example, jay-walking is not illegal in Darylnadia.

You want some facts about Darylnadia? Sure:

• It has 0% crime,
• Its capital and largest city is Daryl,
• Its official language is English,
• Its government is a monarchy with a king well-loved by the people,
• Its geographical area is approximately 2*pi square meters,
• Its population is 1,
• It is a very clean country,
• It has great respect for the environment,
• It has no army,
• It has no foreign policy agenda,
• It has freedom of speech, religion, and breakfast,
• It has the highest per capita literacy rating in the world,
• It has the highest standards of human and animal rights of any known country,
• It has no minimum drinking age,
  
• Its shares a currency with Canada.
  

Want to visit Darylnadia? Well if you know me, chances are you've already visited. It's an unguarded border (depending how deep into the country you want to venture). Anybody who is found within its lands is granted automatic Darylnadia Visitor Status. So come on down! (Though it can get crowded here sometimes, just to warn you.)